I can't take it anymore. I hate being the responsible kid, the one that never does anything wrong besides maybe forgets to take out the garbage cause hes playing a video game. I HATE being the one that holds a full-time or 2 jobs at a time. I want to be a GOD DAMN KID. I want to go out and party without getting disapproving looks from my family because im the good child. I wonder how my family sees me, how they percieve me as this angelic guy. I hold myself up in their image trying to please them, trying to make everyone around me happy, but i simply can't take it anymore. Im gonna throw on some clothes one day and not come back for a week. Disappear off the face of the earth and i'll love every minute, and i'll hold sacred every second. Im 21 and already have a routine, what days i pay my bills, what days i work and what days i have to do lawn work. I know what days i could possibly go out and have fun and for how long. There isn't one spontateous bone in my entire body. I just wish that someone would come and pull me out by my hair. Rip me into their world.
I've figured it out, finally. I need to be free, even if it hurts those around me. I can endure the pain from seeing the saddened faces and the disappointed looks. IM TIRED of being so angelic and nice. I strive for more then i want. People ask me what i want in life and my answer is so simple its stupid. I want a job, i want someone to hold and hold me at night, i maybe want a few rugrats to keep me busy. It would be so simple, so easy, so me. I dont care if i was shoveling shit for 50 hours a week so long as i had those other things. Those are the things that make my world, those are the things that'll make me as happy as i want to be. So i ask all you that read this, NO i dare you. Come find me and see if you have what it takes to live in my world, see if you can live this simple and carefree life. Lol and if you think im complicated then your looking through the eyes of someone who looks too far.
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